1. Always say honestly what you think and also give the other person a chance to listen and to respond. Delivering criticism should not be about power struggles or dominance.

2. Be as specific as possible so the person is very clear what it is you are critiquing. Don't generalize, and if possible, give examples.

3. Never criticize when you are upset or angry. Use a calm and friendly tone of voice when you speak. If you deliver criticism in an angry tone, it will only set the stage for the person hearing you to become defensive and angry as well.

4. At all costs, do not allow yourself to get into labeling, name calling ,or sarcastic "zingers."  If your intent is to help and to support the person, there is no place for that type of aggressive and abusive communication.

5.  Try very hard not to use black and white terms such as "always" and "never" when you deliver your criticism. When people hear those, they almost always go into a defensive mode. In addition, rarely does anyone do anything always or never. Even if they *do*, it serves no good purpose to ever use those words when communicating criticism or anything else for that matter

6. Do not repeat yourself over and over. If the person does not understand how you have worded your criticism the first time or two, either ask them what they do not understand, or think about what you said and reword it. To continue to say the same thing in the same way will only frustrate both parties.
 

Criticism is a natural part of communication and can promote better relationships and a great sense of relief for all involved if it is delivered with honest and friendly intent and words.